The Long Telex

fiction by Avee Chaudhuri

After the debacle with the marsala, Jim refused to cook for New Year’s Eve and even put it in writing, handing his wife a note while she was on the phone to her mother so she could not vocalize her displeasure as he took the car keys from the glass bowl in the foyer and gave her the middle finger. Six hours later, after a few whiskeys, he would deny the incident even took place. Marjorie showed him the note, which he claimed was a forgery.

“I don’t. I don’t do my h’s like that. Nice try.” 

“I’ll put on some coffee.”

“It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. Just let me go to bed.” 

Further to his newfound resolve not to cook dinner anymore, Jim refused to remove the electrodes from his penis and, in case there was any question, wrote down his reasons, slipping his wife a folded piece of paper while she was talking over the fence with their neighbor Simone, who was de facto president of the Home Owners Association.

“Oh hello, Simone.” 

“Hiya, Jim!”

“Dear, this letter came for you.” 

“Well not now, J…